Bunn B8 Series

Dear Mr. Bunn,

I am a big fan of your B8 Home Series Coffee Brewer, but I have to let you know there are a few things you could do to improve it. I've owned one for 2 1/2 years now, and it is far and away my favorite small appliance. I have a suggestion for your next model series that I think could be a winner. What you need to do to make this coffee maker better is to add an IV hook-up. That way, my first cup of morning coffee can go directly into my bloodstream and bypass that time consuming digestive system process.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Isn't the super fast brew time of 1 1/2 minutes speedy enough for me? Yes, yes, yes. You've changed my mornings. I no longer have to wait for Mr. Coffee to drip drip drip and then try to sneak-a-cup because I can't wait any longer. That was just terrible. Have you ever snuck-a-cup, Mr. Bunn? That's always the worst cup, because it doesn't have the right proportion of coffee to water. Blech. You've saved me from that.

Yes, your coffee machine is near-perfect. You've brought restaurant quality to the home. I have a home version of the same coffee maker that all the good restaurants use to brew their coffee. But Mr. Bunn, I'm American. I'm never happy with perfection. It must be more perfect and I must have it now.

I've been meaning to speak to you about the de-liming procedure on the coffee brewer, too. The handy de-liming spring that you include with the coffee maker, takes me a full two minutes once every week to use. That's far too much maintenance for me to perform on an appliance that is used 4 or 5 times a day, 365 days a year. Please provide a Man Who Comes Every Week to De-Lime the Coffee Pot with future models. I'll give him a key so I don't have to answer the door.

I am very happy that your coffee maker is relatively expensive, never on sale, and hard to find. While I know that $99.00 spent on your coffeemaker was well worth it, I enjoy letting my friends think that I have that I have overspent outrageously. It makes me seem so wealthy. I also don't let on to them that I found mine at Boscov's and that if they call around first, they'll be able to find one too. Shhhhhh. Don't tell them where they can find one, I want to have the only one in the crowd. I am, after all, special.

While I'm at it, I do have one more tiny complaint. Making coffee is a little too easy. Now I know, I just complained that I didn't have the time to de-lime the coffee maker and here I am griping about coffee making being too easy. Hear me out and I'm sure you'll understand.

Here's all I have to do to make coffee:

1) Put filter in filter basket
2) Put ground coffee in filter
3) Snap filter basket in place
4) Place pot on burner
5) Pour water (from your measuring pitcher, included) into hot water reserve
6) Stand and watch pot fill up immediately

This is perfect for mornings, but when making coffee for company, it's not very impressive. Perhaps you could add loud sounds, like a cappuccino machine, so it appears that I am expending more effort than I am when serving guests.

Finally, and this is the most serious of any of my complaints, your coffee maker is too reliable. I've used it at least 2500 times since I bought it, and it's still going strong with nary a problem. I like to buy things Mr. Bunn, especially $99.00 coffeemakers when all of my friends are buying $20 Mr. Coffees. If you take the money that I've spent on your coffee maker, and compare it to what my friends are spending on cheap coffee makers that break, you'll find that I've actually spent less per use on your coffee maker than my friends have spent on theirs. That will never do.

Thanks for listening, Mr. Bunn. I hope that my suggestions have inspired you to alter your product for the United States home use market. Remember, we're Americans and even your perfect coffee brewer isn't good enough for us. If we allowed ourselves to be truly pleased, we just wouldn't be "us".