Rocky Mountain Phazer II Radar Detector

This thing is freakin' fantastic! It renders the my car completely invisible - I've gone past state troopers and city constables alike at 150+ mph - even in the city with 30 mph traffic - and the police act like zombies, oblivious to my warp-speed shenanigans. I've also found that its magical properties have mysteriously added 30 mph to my top speed and that because the car is invisible to even itself (I know this sounds a bit far-fetched, but bear with me), I no longer need to add gas to the tank. It's totally transformed my life and I've ditched my best friend and wife for the sublime comfort and solitude of being alone with its melodic electronic "hummmmm." Lately I find myself physically attracted to this matte black box. I can feel its desire for me as we share secluded drives on forbidden roads...just me and my box.

Don't spend the money it takes to make this little pleasure box a part of your life unless you're ready to have your life re-focused and re-ordered. It'll take control.