Sharp VC-A560U VHS VCR

Greetings, humans, you don't know me and I probably should keep my SHARP thoughts to myself, but my master, some of you know her as a Top Movie Reviewer and Advisor here at Epinions.com, she balked at reviewing me, saying I was just too boring and no one cared about buying VCRs anymore, anyway. Well, that hurt! She hasn't even taken the time to know me. Of course she doesn't have any idea I heard her grumbling to herself before falling asleep or that I'm writing this in her account and you'd better not tell her! She'll wake up, see it and realize she must have been writing again while she slept (sleepwriting will cure any creative blocks you may have).

Let's take that first point, that I'm boring. Now am I boring you? Okay, so I haven't said much about myself, you're right. I needed to get your attention. So I am officially a SHARP Model VC-A560U VCR in shiny black. I guess I'm also a lot like the silver SHARP Model VC-H960U, but there are no Epinions' reviews for that either, so you're stuck with me, hehe.

I'm supposedly a "MID-DRIVE" and High Quality, which I can verify on the latter claim. My master has watched several videos now with my assistance and only had a slight problem with one very old tape (mid seventies!). Look, I'm a 2002 VCR and I don't think it's asking much that I should only play the same high quality tapes on a high quality television, but what nonsense do I get? Old tapes! And this tightwad still watches a tiny, ten-year-old television and couldn't care less about a normal, theater experience.

So is my picture sharp and pleasing to the eye? Huh? Did you hear what I just said? Her small, ten-year-old television without cable isn't too horrendous, but it certainly leaves a lot to be desired. I know what's out there after a bit of a stint on the store shelves. Not once did I dream of a middle-aged television like this one!

Have I had any other problems since the seventies' tape? Hey, I resolved the problem on her second use of it and the tape did not stop or the blue screen come up. There was once a small tracking problem that my remote control could not fix, but it's not supposed to because I will. I also heard complaints from her and a tall friend that my pause function stops after five minutes and the movie continues whether you are ready to watch it or not.

So don't pause the stupid movie! Just stop it. How hard is that to figure out?

I'm really an easygoing VCR, humans, and can perform flawlessly for at least three and a half hours continuously (a two-tape movie). I am installed in two easy steps, rewind a full tape in a few seconds, stay cool and conserve my energy when I'm in use or not. Did you know that...Hey, I'll just share something from the 46-page manual that explains this:


As an ENERGY STAR Partner, SHARP has determined that this product meets the ENERGY STAR guidelines for energy efficiency. ENERGY STAR is a U.S. registered mark.

What Is ENERGY STAR?

TVs and VCRs use energy both when they are on and off. Americans spend more than $1 billion a year on energy consumed by TVs and VCRs when they are not in use. The new ENERGY STAR models will reduce that energy "leakage" by up to 75 percent. Ultimately, this will mean more than $500 million a year in energy savings for consumers.

The energy savings will help reduce the burning of fossil fuels and the related carbon dioxide pollution that contributes to global warming. If every American family replaced their TVs and VCRs with ENERGY STAR models, it would reduce carbon dioxide emissions by five million tons every year—equivalent to eliminating the pollution from more than one million cars.

By using ENERGY STAR products, you will save money on your electric bills and use less energy. That makes good economic sense and it's good for the environment.


Uh huh, boring, am I? I'm not blowing hot air, humans. You need an inexpensive, but high quality VCR like me and I'm not only speaking to Americans. Anyone reading this should want to save money and contribute to better air and environment, I hope.

Have I answered that second complaint of my masters, that no one wants a VCR anymore? Do DVD players conserve energy and lower your electric bill like I do? Are they under fifty dollars? I overheard my master say she saw one by Panasonic for fifty-three after a rebate only. And can you see all the old movies with a DVD player?

I rest my case. With a year warranty on parts (which you won't need!) and ninety days for labor (doubtful unless I'm-or my brothers and sisters are-abused by idiots who don't read the detailed instructions and warnings) and several goodies like Instant Replay, Tamper Proof and the ability to record while watching another program, you can be happy with a SHARP Model VC-A560U for several years. You heard it from one who should know!

My sleepy master surely doesn't. She's not SHARP like I am.